What in the Hell Are the Eagles Doing?

By klownboy on April 20, 2016 • ( 0 )

I can’t get my mind wrapped around the 2016 Philadelphia Eagles.

First, it seemed like the organization was getting on the right track when it ran Chip Kelly’s ass out of town. Now with the news of impending trade for the Cleveland Browns’ #2 overall pick being consummated, I wonder if the ghost of Kelly possessed the minds of members of the Eagles’ front office.

So before I launch into the Eagles’ mind-numbing decision, let’s lay out the specifics of this deal.

The Browns get the 2016 first-round pick (No. 8 overall), the Eagles’ third-round and fourth-round picks in 2016. They also get the Eagles’ 2017 first-round pick and the Eagles’ 2018 second-rounder.

In return, the Eagles will get the Browns’ 2016 first-round pick (No. 2 overall) and a conditional fourth-round pick from the the Browns in the 2017 draft.

So if you add it up, the Browns now have seven of the first 77 picks of the draft, while the Eagles have seven picks in the entire draft.

As you can imagine, there are a couple of things wrong with this deal. First, the Eagles have too many holes to fill with just five picks. I guess that means that rebuild is gonna take at least two seasons (damn you, Chip Kelly!).

Second, it appears that the Eagles will pick a QB with the second overall pick. I mean, why the hell would they move into the 2-spot? That strategy would make sense, except for one important thing. Philly just paid starting QB Sam Bradford $22 mil, and his backup Chase Daniel $12 mil.

Huh?

I can see and hear Eagles fans now. First, the “see” part:

Next, the “hear” part (the “Winnie the Pooh” crack at [3:20] was beyond epic):

Yeah Eagles fans, I’m praying for y’all.

On the other hand, I don’t say this often, but props to the ‪‎Browns‬ for pulling off this heist. This gives them a chance to plug in the numerous holes on the roster.

For once, Cleveland’s front office has made a great decision. I guess what they say is true: the sun does shine on a dog’s ass once in a while.

Meanwhile, somewhere in San Francisco Kelly is laughing his ass off.

Epilogue: remember that angry brother from the video above? Well, here was his reaction after his Eagles traded for the #2 overall pick: