2014 World Cup Preview

719px-WC-2014-Brasil.svgNope, this is not a dream – nor a hallucination (no matter how high some of y’all might be right now).

Yours truly is previewing the 2014 World Cup.  In fact, not only am I previewing the 2014 World Cup, I am actually looking forward to WATCHING it.

Yeah, I know I have public disrespected the sport of soccer in the past.  I’ve often said that soccer is not a sport, but rather “an excuse to riot”.  I’ve often clowned on why you had dudes flopping, faking injuries, and always being referred by just one name.

And while the flopping is true, I do respect the sport and its athletes.  To those of you who still do not view soccer players as legit athletes, try playing it.  Once y’all stop gasping for air, y’all should understand.

So, without further ado…

Group A

  1. Brazil
  2. Croatia
  3. Mexico
  4. Cameroon

Analysis:  Brazil is the best squad out of a so-so group.  I would give Mexico more love (they are very talented), El Tri has been maddeningly inconsistent since the the CONCACAF Gold Cup tournament.

Group B

  1. Spain
  2. Netherlands
  3. Chile
  4. Australia

Analysis:  Spain is my prohibitive favorite in winning the World Cup.  David Villa and Fernando Torres are not going to be denied, even is Diego Costa is still less than 100%.  The Netherlands are good, but they should be happy to settle for second place in this group.

Group C

  1. Colombia
  2. Ivory Coast
  3. Japan
  4. Greece

Analysis:  Colombia has experienced some peaks and valleys since the 90s.  It went from soccer power to also-ran following the 1994 World Cup.  In fact, Colombia’s fall from grace was highlighted in ESPN’s “30 for 30” documentary “The Two Escobars”, which for my money is the best “30 for 30” documentary ESPN has put out.  Now that they are a top-5 soccer squad, I am curious to see how good they have become.  Ivory Coast, while still talented, is very old.  Team Geritol is good enough for a second-place finish out of this group, but that’s about it.

Group D

  1. Italy
  2. England
  3. Uruguay
  4. Costa Rica

Analysis:  Any squad with Mario Balotelli has a good shot to win the World Cup.  Italy should definitely win this group.  England deserves some love, but Wayne Rooney’s squad as been inconsistent in the last few World Cups.  Oh and by the way, any squad that employs the services of renowned douche bag Luis Suarez deserves to be hated.  I hope Uruguay gets humiliated – and finish dead fucking last.

Group E

  1. France
  2. Switzerland
  3. Honduras
  4. Ecuador

Analysis:  France is by far the class of this group.  If it weren’t for the Swiss, I’d think the French would moonwalk their asses out of this group.

Group F

  1. Argentina
  2. Nigeria
  3. Bosnia and Herzegovina
  4. Iran

Analysis:  Argentina has arguably the best player in the world in Lionel Messi.  No one else in this group does.  Argentina should not have a difficult time winning this group.  Nigeria, the best African squad in this tournament, should be competitive in this group as well.

Group G

  1. United States (nope this not not a typo, nor am I high)
  2. Germany
  3. Ghana
  4. Portugal

Analysis:  I am picking the US because I have followed sports long enough to know that when an heralded, but talented squad has been universally counted out, it rises to the occasion.  I think the Americans will rise to the occasion and win “The Group of Death”.  I have the Germans finishing a strong second, led by Bastian Schweinsteiger and Sami Khedira.  Unfortunately neither of those studs are at 100%.  Portugal is an enigma to me.  On one hand, it has one of the best players in the world in Cristiano Ronaldo.  Unfortunately for Portugal he is still recovering from a leg injury and is not at 100%.  As for Ghana, yes the Black Stars have had the Americans’ number.  I just think that the US is ready to prove everyone – including its OWN COACH – wrong.

Group H

  1. Belgium
  2. South Korea
  3. Russia
  4. Algeria

Analysis:  This is perhaps to most nondescript, non-exciting group of the tournament.  Belgium is a team on the rise, and it should be able to handle its business in this group.

Oh, and one more thing…

2014 World Cup Winner: Spain beee-atch!

Categories: soccer

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2 replies


  1. U.S. Men’s Soccer Team Manned Up Vs. Ghana | The Klown Times

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