The Inaugural “Klownie” Awards


It’s been a minute since I’ve ranted on this blog.  The combination of being a full-time dad, and no football (NFL and college) would cause a brother to be dormant for a while.

However, in light of last nights’ Oscars ceremony (cue the #OscarsSoWhite hasthag), I wanted to create my own awards honoring the superlatives in sports.  So without further ado, I give you all the “Klownie” awards!

(Note: the Klownie awards are given to athletes and such for feats occurring from midnight January 1, 2015 to midnight December 31, 2015, just like the Oscars…)

Klownie Award for the best team

Alabama Crimson Tide
Kansas City Royals
Duke Blue Devils
Golden State Warriors

Golden State Warriors.  The Warriors were unstoppable last season en route to an NBA title, and are looking well on their way to a repeat.  Think the Warriors are still mad at those who disrespected their title run?

Klownie Award for Best Athlete

Serena Williams, tennis star
Cam Newton, QB Carolina Panthers
LeBron James, SF Cleveland Cavaliers
Stephen Curry, RG Golden State Warriors
DeShaun Watson, QB Clemson Tigers
Novak Djokovic, tennis star

Serena Williams.  Anyone who had seen this sistah play at all last season will agree with me.  Should I even bother to mention her Wimbledon, Australian and French Open singles titles last year? (Guess I just did…)

Klownie Award for Best Coach

Ned Yost, Kansas City Royals
Nick Saban, Alabama Crimson Tide
Steve Kerr, Golden State Warriors
Ron Rivera, Carolina Panthers

Steve Kerr.  His team won the ‘chip, and is now threatening to break the Chicago Bulls’ 72-win 1997-1998 record season.  Oh, and Curry is STILL playing out of his mind.

Meanwhile, at the other end of the spectrum…

Klownie Award for Worst Run Franchise

Cleveland Browns
New York Knicks
Miami Marlins
Tennessee Titans

Cleveland Browns.  The Marlins came in a close second, but at least those conniving creeps were able to hoodwink a community into building them a new ballpark.  The Browns can’t even convince their fan base that they know what they are doing.  Hell, I don’t think even the Browns themselves know what they are doing.

Let’s do it again next year, DAMMIT!!!

Categories: college basketball, college football, MLB, NBA, NFL, sports story

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