Dr. Klownboy’s Common Cure: the Cleveland Browns

This is a new series of rants that I will employ during the NFL and NBA regular seasons.  I will basically take a look at the teams that suck, and give my two cents how I could cure their suckiness.

Dr. Klownboy is in the house!

At any rate, without further ado let’s welcome the first team for my psychoanalysis: the Cleveland Browns.


Well, I will try to be kind here.  I know the Browns got their first win of the season over the Cincinnati Bengals last Sunday.  But let’s face it, the Browns need lots of help.

They are devoid of weapons on offense – Trent Richardson and Josh Cribbs notwithstanding.  They do not have enough playmakers on defense.  Their QB situation is suspect at best.  In short, they need prayer in the worst way.


Clean house.

That started with team president Mike Holmgren “retiring” at season’s end.  Let’s face it folks, I don’t care if Holmgren says he is “retiring”, but I know a firing when I see one.  New owner Jimmy Haslam brought in former Eagles executive Joe Banner to be team president, which at last check used to be Holmgren’s job.

And let’s not stop with the president – trickle it on down to that manikin of a head coach Pat Shurmur.  I mean, who would play for THIS guy?

And sure Haslam said he wasn’t making changes before next season, which is all well and good.  But let’s be real about something here: the Browns need to purge all the fluff and start anew.  Get a team president with a successful track record (check!), and a coach who knows what he is doing and gives better victory speeches.

At least they have a good thing with general manager Tom Heckert.  His drafts at least have the Browns headed in the right direction.

Speaking of Haslam, how funny is it that a former minority owner of my beloved Pittsburgh Steelers now owns the Browns?  I guess a Steeler has to own the Browns off the field as well as on it (hey-OOOOOO!!!).

Ok, lemme stop.  The doctor’s session is closed…

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