Blog Archives

The Knicks’ Draft Sucked

ny-knicks-logoAt the risk of putting my health in harm’s way, I’m going to discuss my beloved New York Knicks’ draft.

My Knicks selected Latvian big man Kristaps Porzingis with the fourth overall pick in the 2015 NBA draft.  This was when Duke’s Justise Winslow, China’s Emmanuel Mudiay, Kentucky’s Willie Cauley-Stein and Croatia’s Mario Hezonja were still on the board.

You read that right.  We drafted some stiff out of a remote European country when more talented prospects were available.

I wish I could say how surprised and appalled I was at the draft pick.  I wish I could be shocked at how basketball president Phil Jackson could have gotten that pick wrong.  However, that would mean I would have to forget decades of futility in the draft.

Here’s a bit of trivia for y’all.  Who was the last Knicks first-round pick that has been selected for at least one All-Star Game and All-NBA Team?  You guessed it: Patrick Ewing, class of 1985.

1985!

I was in middle school in 1985.  My Knicks had not had a meaningful player on that level in 30 friggin years!  UGH!

Yet in spite of the horrendous drafting of years’ past (Frederic Weis, anyone?), I had a modicum of hope.  Sure, we had the fourth pick in the draft, but at least there was a bevy of players that could have helped us in the draft.

Those damn Lakers drafting D’Angelo Russell?  Sure that hurt, but at least there were Winslow, Mudiay and Hezonja’s swag around that would have salvaged our draft.

Until I heard the following announcement…

“With the fourth pick of the 2015 NBA Draft, the New York Knicks select Kristaps Porzingis from Latavia.”

Oh hell no.  HELL NO.

My head fell straight to my desk.  Lots of yelled obscenities followed.  My beloved Knicks have fucked me yet again.

And yes, I know that Jackson and Co. managed to trade for Notre Dame baller Jerian Grant after said debacle.  That still didn’t make up for that horrific draft pick.

Sure, that Porzingis could turn out to be a good player.  Hell, based on his potential he could become a star in this league.

I doubt it, simply because he has the look of yet another European stiff that even my five-year-old son could post up and snag rebounds against.

As you can see, life is hard as a Knicks fan.  Why I allow those clowns to torment me and shave years off of my already short life expectancy is anyone’s guess.

Pray for me y’all…

Happy Father’s Day!

We at The Klown Times want to wish all the dads out there a Happy Father’s Day.  Shouts out go to the men who bust their asses in taking care of, disciplining and raising their kids – whether it be husbands, divorcees or baby daddies.  

Much respect…

Yankees Need to Honor A-Rod’s Achievements

YankeesBefore I embark on this rant, let me state the following.

While I am a lifelong fan of the New York Yankees, I am not a fan of Alex Rodriguez.  In fact, I cannot stand the man.

I do not like the fact that A-Rod had been so disingenuous with the way he conducted himself on and off the field over the last few seasons, he had become more of an “A-Fraud”.  And with the cat out of the bag on his apparent use of steroids, he has become “A-Roid” to me, not to mention a liar for denying such charges for such a long period of time.

I’ll also go a step further and express how incensed I was that the Yankees allowed A-Rod back.  Why my Yankees didn’t buy his roided ass out and move on was a mystery to me, even more so when they bid against themselves in re-signing A-Rod to that albatross of a deal.

Having said all of that, the Yankees should do the right thing and honor A-Rod’s achievements.  The team wrote clauses in his contract calling for such milestones to be rewarded by handsome bonuses.

And being a disgraced steroid cheat aside, performance enhancers does not help a player put a bat on the ball at a high level.

After all, 668 home runs is… well, 668 home runs.  And only 29 players in Major League Baseball history has at least 3,000 hits.  Those are achievements the Yankees have to honor since A-Rod’s milestones were met while wearing a Yankee uniform.

I know New York loathes A-Rod and would really prefer that he would go the hell away, but this was what the Yankees signed up for when they signed A-Rod to that ridiculous contract extension in the first place.

As for me, I feel like such a profound hypocrite while pulling for this man to help my Yankees stay in the AL East pennant chase with the Tampa Bay Rays.  What’s even worse for me to stomach is that he is the main reason why my Yankees have been doing surprisingly well this season.

God, I feel so dirty…

LeBron Has Nothing to Be Ashamed of

NBA-Finals-LogoThe Cleveland Cavaliers fell to the new world champion Golden State Warriors in six games last night.  Check that, LeBron James fell to the new world champion Golden State Warriors in six games.

I know LeBron is now 2-4 in the NBA Finals.  I know that his record alone would pale in comparison to the all-time greats.  And I also know that one of those Finals he wet the bed in the worst way (vs. Dallas).

And while LeBron is sub-.500 in NBA Finals, I am not going to clown “The King”.  In fact, I think his performance in the 2015 NBA Finals enhanced his legacy.

Think about it for a minute.

His Cavs already went into the Finals two men down: a great offensive player in Kevin Love and a defensive stalwart in Anderson Varejao.  And while the Cavs played well in Game 1, star point guard Kyrie Irving fractured his knee cap in overtime and would miss the rest of the series.

As soon as Irving went down, everyone (including yours’ truly) thought that the Warriors would sweep them.  After all, how in the world would a one-man band win a game against the deep, young and powerful Warriors?

Well, not only did the short-handed Cavs win won game, they pushed the Warriors to six hard-fought games.  Ya know how they did that?

LeBron James.

If we took LeBron off of that team, it would be a lottery team capable of being owned by my sorry-ass New York Knicks.  Hell I could form a crew of four “all-DNP” NBA bench players and be competitive against that bunch.

Iman Shumpert, JR Smith, Timofey Mozgov and the Johnny-come-lately Matthew Dellavedova pushing the likes of regular season MVP Stephen Curry, Klay Thompson, Finals MVP Andre Iguodala (Curry should have won it), and Draymond Green?  Really?

That’s a testament to LeBron and his leadership.  He got every last ounce of grit and determination from that rag-tag bunch.

Unfortunately, he eventfully wore himself out and conceded the chip to Curry and his crew.

LeBron is feeling down in the dumps for not delivering the chip for NE Ohio.  He was despondent as hell during the post-game press conference.

But he has nothing to be ashamed of.  His performance in the Finals has created a new-found respect with me and many sports fans.

Man’s game LeBron.  Much respect.

The Double-Standard that Is Hope Solo

hope-solo-300A decorated athlete was arrested on two counts of domestic violence on June 21, 2014.

While police was trying to book her, said athlete was reportedly so combative the police had to force her to the ground.  She then yelled, “You’re such a b—-.  You’re scared of me because you know that if the handcuffs were off, I’d kick your ass.”

(You can read more on the police report here)

Substitute the “she” pronouns with “he”.  How much do you want to bet that there would be an absolute outcry for a suspension?  I would be shocked that “he” would not be suspended by whichever sports league he plays in.

But the offender is not only a popular female athlete, she starts in goalie for the US Women’s National Team and is playing in the 2015 World Cup.

So is it shocking to see Hope Solo representing her country and not suspended from the World Cup?  Naw, not at all.  Solo is the best goalie in the world and we need her to bring the World Cup home.

And what’s worse is that US Soccer, the governing body of the men’s and women’s team, didn’t conduct much of an investigation.  For some reason it didn’t interview with the victims: her half-sister and nephew.

Again, the women’s soccer team need Solo to bring home the World Cup – even if it meant its governing body turning a blind eye to her transgressions.

But we see the Ray McDonalds, Ray Rices, and Greg Hardys of the world dealt serious consequences for similar actions pertaining to domestic violence – as they should.  It’s great seeing professional sports leagues FINALLY taking this issue seriously.

It’s even better seeing the media take those offending athletes to task.  Hell the media alone (namely TMZ) shamed NFL commissioner/punk ass Roger Goodevil into getting the Rice discipline right.

It just makes US Soccer’s “investigation” into Solo’s domestic violence arrest/non-punishment and the lack of outrage from the media and fans all the more shameful.

I sometimes think that if the offender was a “he” instead of a rather attractive “she” things would be different.

Kind of like teachers sexing middle and high school students.  If the offenders were male, they’d be raked over the coals and publicly shamed (as they should).  The female offenders generally tend to not be discussed or even punished as much.

In short, this is the mother of all double-standards.

Why Serena Is Not Celebrated More

serena_williamsCongrats to Serena Williams on winning her 20th Grand Slam title.  Congrats goes to her on winning her third French Open title.

Most of all, congrats goes to Williams on moving into second all-time for most Grand Slam ladies’ singles titles in the Open Era.

And that’s the most you’ll hear of it.

After Saturday’s French Open women’s final, most of the talk in the sports world has been centered around American Pharoah (sic) becoming the first horse since 1978 to win the Triple Crown after winning the Belmont Stakes and the heroic efforts of LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers sans Kyrie Irving AND Kevin Love – and rightfully so.  Hell not many folks were even talking about the men’s French Open final.

So of course the obvious question is the following: why is Serena not getting the love that she deserves?

Not to be over-complicated, but it’s a question that yields many answers.

First of all, tennis is not nearly as popular in this country as much as it used to.

Anyone remember the golden years of the 1980s and 90s?  Evan Lendl, Boris Becker, John McEnroe, Bjorn Borg, Pete Sampras (who I think is better than the overrated Roger Federer), Andre Agassi, Michael Chang, and Jim Courier?  And how about Martina Navratilova, Chris Evert, and Monica Seles on the women’s side?  That’s a who’s-who of tennis whose talents we may never see again.

I also think that the lack of American stars has a lot to do with, especially on the men’s side.  I mean if we are honest about it, all we knew of and cheered wildly for was Andy Roddick.

Secondly, we all take Serena for granted.

After all, she is SUPPOSED to win.  What active player can consistently take out Serena?

Maria Sharapova?  She is only 2-16 lifetime against Serena.

Big sister Venus?  WAAAAY past her prime, and even Serena dominates her as of late.

Li Na and Sloane Stephens?  Please.

And that leads to the third reason: the field is not deep.  At least Serena once had to deal with the likes of big sis Venus, Martina Hingis, Lindsey Davenport, and Justine Henin while she was ascending into her prime.

Who is there now?  The combined total of Grand Slam winners from active players is 21.  Again, Serena alone has 20.  The most remarkable thing about that is Serena will be 34 years old in September and is showing no signs of slowing down.

Is it fair to hold the lack of depth in women’s tennis over Serena’s head?  Hell no, but it is what it is.

A third reason is people tend to hate on her attitude, or what they perceive as an attitude problem.

I remember so many people would knock her and Venus for not being humble enough.  “Show more class when winning!” people would yell at their TV screens whenever Serena would bag another win.

Memo to delusional sports fans: do you REALLY think most superstar athletes are humble?  Do y’all think Michael Jordan was humble?  How about Agassi and Sampras?  And don’t even think about Kobe Bryant.

That’s life.  Get over it.

The last reason is a sensitive one, and may only have to do with a scintilla of the issue, not one that many people would feel comfortable with: Serena is not a blond-haired white woman.

Don’t believe me?

Look at how many endorsement opportunities Sharapova has.  Now Sharapova is a beautiful (and quite lovely) statuesque blond Russian with a marketable personality.  However, she’s won only five Grand Slam titles, 15 less than Serena.

And what is my biggest trump card of all, look at the number of endorsement opportunities Anna Kournikova has (or at least had).  Her net worth was once upwards of $50 million!

As with Sharapova, Kournikova is a very beautiful woman.  Hell bump that, the woman was fine as hell.  But you know what, Kournikova did not win as many Grand Slam singles titles as Serena.  In fact, she didn’t win ANY such titles.

It’s unfortunate thing to say or even postulate, but could you imagine Serena as a blond-haired white woman (and American) winning Grand Slam singles titles year after year in this day and age?  There would be so many tribute sites to her on the web, the damn internet would stay broke.  Serena would be on so many one-handed magazine (dudes know what I am talking about) covers, she’d make EVERY men’s magazine some money.

The sports world may not hype Serena as much as she deserves, and that’s a damn shame.  And the day she walks away from tennis will be the day sports fans will miss her immensely.

A Quick 2015 NBA Playoff Finals Preview

NBA-Finals-LogoThis is going to be a weird NBA Finals of sorts to me.

The 2015 Finals are the first where I truly do not have a rooting interest – a dog in the fight, if you will.  Both the Cleveland Cavaliers and Golden State Warriors are great teams with great guys.  They also provide the media and fans with great storylines.

First of all, who doesn’t like the story of LeBron James leading his “hometown” Cavs back to the NBA Finals after winning a couple of rings in Miami?  Sure no one outside of Miami liked the way he left Cleveland, but if LeBron delivers the city of Cleveland its first championship in 51 years, he would be considered a god.

And who doesn’t love Stephen Curry?  He is about to be the new face of the NBA, with his State Farm commercials to boot (with the assist from Chris Paul, pun intended).  The fact he comes from a small school that made one of the greatest Cinderella runs in NCAA Tournament history, not to mention being the son of a former NBA player (Dell Curry).

It’s a shame that a team has to lose this Finals, but at least one of these teams has a great chance of making it back next season.  But that said…

Cleveland has been on a roll in the playoffs, losing only two games to this point (12-2 postseason record).  LeBron is arguably playing his best basketball in recent memory, leading a team mostly comprised of castoffs to the brink of a championship.  Star point guard Kyrie Irving’s gimpy knee and Kevin Love being sideline by a shoulder injury make LeBron’s exploits much more impressive.

The Cavs role players have been stellar.  Tristan Thompson has been a monster on the boards.  He has also been a cleanup man along with Timofey Mozgov and has been an excellent rim protector.

Speaking of Mozgov, how about my Knicks castoffs?  Collectively the trade that brought in Mozgov, Iman Shumpert,and the enigmatic J.R. Smith saved the Cavs season.

And last but not least, Matthew Dellavedova is one of the scrappiest (and to some dirtiest) player I have seen in quite some time.

Golden State counters Cleveland’s grit with firepower and the ability to run any team out of the gym.  Curry and Klay Thompson alone could easily combine for 60 points on any given night.  Plus there is that Draymond Green cat who not only is a terror on the boards, but he is a walking double-double and could easily pour in 20+ points when called upon.

The Warriors are also a lot deeper than the Cavs.  Andre Iguodala leads the second unit.  You read that right, he COMES OFF THE BENCH.  Shaun Livingston, Festus Ezeli, and Leandro Barbosa help keep the Warriors rolling on offense.

Even though Golden State is the better team (and better coached) on paper, I do not think LeBron is going to be denied.

There is something special going on with this Cavs team.  Their role players are playing out of their minds.  Hell, watching Smith staying within himself and becoming a big contributor to the team is amazing in and of itself.  As long as head coach David Blatt lets LeBron coach this team and stays the hell out of his way, the Cavs will shock the world (sort of).

Prediction: Cavs in 6.

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