Category Archives: NFL

2014 NFL Week 12 Preview: the “Late as Hell” Edition

NFLBefore I get started on this preview, I have one thing to say: my bad on the tardiness.

Now with that shit out of the way, let us begin…

Game of the Week

Detroit Lions at New England Patriots.  Well, this is the best out of a ho-hum bunch.  Both teams are at least tie for the lead in their respective divisions.  Both teams are also looking to send a statement.  I would say that this game will be close, but Matthew Stafford on the road vs. Bill Bellicheat has the potential of getting ugly fast.  Stafford is turnover-prone in GOOD weather conditions.  Imagine what Bellicheat will have dialed up for him.  Patriots 27, Lions 14. 

The “Who Gives a Flying Fuck?” Game of the Week

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Chicago Bears.  Both teams suck – and swallow.  I know fans of both teams want to kill themselves.  And I do get that this is the “Lovie Smith Bowl”, but still.  And since I have to, Bears over Bucs.

Curb-Stomping of the Week

Colts over Jaguars.  Anyone check out the results of their first meeting?  Well, that bludgeoning took place in Jacksonville.  Now that this meeting is going to be in Indianapolis, things are gonna get Freddy Kruger-horrific in a hurry.  Prayers are going out to the Jags fans…

Upset Special

Giants over Cowboys

Thursday’s Game

Chiefs over Raiders (Oops!  Guess I was wrong there…)

Sunday’s Games

Falcons over Browns
Eagles over Titans
Packers over Vikings
Bengals over Texans (Cincy will finally come out on top in Andy Dalton’s house of horrors…)
Seahawks over Cardinals
Chargers over Rams
Broncos over Dolphins
49ers over Redskins (expect more RGIII drama during and after the game…)
Bills over Jets

Monday’s Game

Saints over Ravens

Last week’s record: 7-7 (Not a good week…)
2014 record to date: 102-60-1 (I’m still in decent shape, for now…)

2014 NFL Week 11 Power Rankings

NFLHere it is folks – for your hating pleasure – my NFL Top Ten rankings heading into Week 12.

1. Arizona Cardinals
2. New England Patriots
3. Green Bay Packers
4. Denver Broncos
5. Kansas City Chiefs
6. Dallas Cowboys
7. Detroit Lions
8. Philadelphia Eagles
9. Cincinnati Bengals
10. Pittsburgh Steelers

Hate away, you sadistic mofos.  It’s not like I really care…


2014 Week 11 NFL Preview

NFLGame of the Week

New England Patriots at Indianapolis Colts.  It is apropos that this is a Sunday night prime time matchup.  Tom Brady vs. Adnrew Luck.  The past vs. the future.  While the storylines are juicy, this pretty much comes down to experience.  Both QBs are not playing with a lot of talent offensively.  Both defenses are young and hungry.  So when both teams are similar from a talent and youth perspective, experience will be the ultimate edge.  With Brady and head coach Bill Bellicheat, the Patriots have enough experience and moxie on their side to get the win on the road.  It will be a good one though…  Patriots 21, Colts 17.

“Why in the Hell Are You Watching This Shit?” Games of the Week

Atlanta Falcons at Carolina Panthers

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Washington Redskins

Any game involving NFC South teams going forward (save for New Orleans) will get automatic consideration for the shittiest game of the week.  Not only do two of those sorry-ass teams play each other, but another one will be playing yet another sorry-ass team in the Redskins.  Well, at least Washington could bring some RGIII drama to the table – I guess.

Panthers over Falcons
Redskins over Buccaneers

Upset Special

Chiefs over Seahawks.  Arrowhead Stadium is such a hard ass place to get a win.  The Chiefs are competitive and the Seahawks are a good, but flawed team.  And last I checked, flawed teams do not win in Arrowhead.

Thursday’s Game

Dolphins over Bills

Sunday’s Games

Vikings over Bears
Browns over Texans
Saints over Bengals
Broncos over Rams
49ers over Giants
Chargers over Raiders
Packers over Eagles (it’s a chance to see if Mark Sanchez is for real)
Lions over Cardinals (this should be one helluva game between division leaders)

Monday’s Game

Steelers over Titans (why Pittsburgh can’t beat bad teams, I’ll never know.  Are they banging the opposing team’s cheerleaders the night before?)

Last week’s record: 9-4 (Not bad, still better than last week)
2014 record to date: 95-53-1 (I’m still in good shape.  Nice…)

2014 NFL Week 10 Power Rankings

NFLHere is the Veterans Day edition of the NFL’s Top Ten heading into Week 11. Notice that a certain singer caused a certain team I follow to drop a few notches…

1. Arizona Cardinals
2. New England Patriots
3. Denver Broncos
4. Philadelphia Eagles
5. Detroit Lions
6. Green Bay Packers
7. Dallas Cowboys
8. Indianapolis Colts
9. Seattle Seahawks
10. The Kansas City Chiefs

Enjoy tearing this apart, you mo-fos!!!


2014 Week 10 NFL Preview: the Late-Ass Edition

NFLGame of the Week

Miami Dolphins at Detroit Lions.  It’s rare that an intra-conference game gets as much pub as this one.  Both teams are playing well above expectations, and this contest is a measuring stick to see how good either team really is.  This game also has possible playoff implications for both teams in their respective divisions.  The Lions are on top of the NFC North, and needs this win to stay ahead of the Packers.  The Dolphins are within striking distance of the Patriots in the AFC East and need this win to stay alive in the division race.

While Miami has improved on both sides of the ball, I think Detroit’s defense will take it to Ryan Tannenhill and Co. on offense.  Detroit’s defense is tops in the league (with Miami’s not too far behind), and I think it will feed off the frenzy of the home crowd.  Will Tannenhill withstand the indoor stadium noise and rise above it all?  He’ll try, but I just don’t see it.  Lions 20, Dolphins 16.

“Why the Hell Would You Watch This?” Game of the Week

Falcons at Buccaneers.  Do I REALLY need to ask why anyone would watch this?  Prayers go out to the poor chaps who have to call this game for TV.  Falcons over Buccaneers.

Thursday’s Game

Bengals over Browns (yes, I know Cleveland is curb-stomping the hell out of Cincinnati, but I picked the Bengals before tonight and I am manning up…)

Sunday’s Games

Bills over Chiefs
Cowboys over Jaguars
Saints over 49ers
Ravens over Titans
Steelers over Jets (I may be jinxing my boys here, but what the hell…)
Broncos over Raiders
Cardinals over Rams
Seahawks over Giants
Packers over Bears

Monday’s Game

Eagles over Panthers

Last week’s record: 7-5 (“Back to life, back to reality…”)
2014 record to date: 86-49-1 (I’m still in good shape.  Better luck this week…)

Adrian Peterson Should Be Reinstated IMMEDIATELY

vikingsAdrian Peterson reached a plea deal yesterday that allowed him to avoid jail time.

Now the question is what should happen to Peterson now that his case is over?  One thing for sure: Peterson should not be punished any further and should be reinstated immediately.

Here are some things that should be taken into consideration.

First of all, Peterson had missed the first eight games of the season.  Again, he has already missed half a season.  And it appears the Vikings have moved on without him (more on that in a minute).  So it’s not like Peterson would be let off of the hook here.

Second, he pleaded out to a misdemeanor charge, and had seemingly took ownership of his role in the child abuse case.  I always say if a person shows contrition to his/her misdeeds, no matter how big or small, then his/her punishment should be discounted on the strength of that.  Peterson apologized outside of the courtroom immediately after the trial ended, and the NFL should take that into consideration.

I think the combination of missing games and national embarrassment should be enough punishment for Peterson, save a fine.  And speaking of which, I think the fine should not approach seven figures.  Not for a misdemeanor.

However, I think NFL Commissioner/Warden/Playa Hater/Bitch-ass Roger Goodell, aka “Fraud-ger Goodevil”, will overreact to the public outcry and punish Peterson some more.  Expect Goodell to add a few more games (I’m guessing three more games) and levy a fine in the neighborhood of $3 million.

Look, I know spanking is a controversial topic in this country.

There were some, like my wife, who were appalled at those photos of Peterson’s child’s lacerated legs.  However there were others, like my relatives, who were like “what’s the big deal?”  Those folks also wondered aloud on Facebook if we were raising a generation of “spoiled-ass kids”.

For the record, I was spanked when I was a child.  A lot.  And even though I wouldn’t put a belt or switch on my son, that does not mean that I had horrible parents.  In fact, I feel as though I have the best parents in the world.

So will I pass judgment on parents who choose to spank their children?  Of course not.

Would I criticize other parents who seem to over-cater and not effectively punish (in my eyes) their kids?  Absolutely not.

No one – and I mean NO ONE – should be in the business of telling others how to raise their kids.  That is why I think Goodevil should recuse himself from the child disciplining arena and let Peterson be.

If Goodevil doesn’t, that would be one slippery slope he wish he’d kept his ass of off.

2014 NFL Week 9 Power Rankings

NFLOk ladies and gents (drum roll, please), here is my Top 10 NFL teams heading into Week 10:

  1. Arizona Cardinals (never thought I’d see the day where the Cards would be the top dog…)
  2. New England Patriots
  3. Philadelphia Eagles
  4. Denver Broncos
  5. Detroit Lions
  6. Pittsburgh Steelers
  7. Indianapolis Colts
  8. Cincinnati Bengals
  9. Green Bay Packers
  10. Dallas Cowboys

Have at it mo-fos…


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