Category Archives: NFL

2014 NFL Week 8 Power Rankings

NFLHere it is ladies and gents: my top 10 NFL teams heading into Week 8…

  1. Dallas Cowboys
  2. Denver Broncos
  3. Arizona Cardinals
  4. Baltimore Ravens
  5. New England Patriots
  6. Philadelphia Eagles
  7. Indianapolis Colts
  8. Green Bay Packers
  9. San Diego Chargers
  10. Detroit Lions

Hammer away you sons of bitches!

2014 NFL Week 8 Preview

NFLGame of the Week

San Diego Chargers at Denver Broncos.  It should go without saying that the AFC West is shaping up to be a two-horse race.  San Diego played Denver tough last season, and is looking to get a HUGE leg up on the Broncos.  The problem is I do not see many teams beating Peyton Manning at home (unless it is the playoffs – HEY-OOO!), and the Chargers is not going to be one of those teams.  Besides, one has to wonder where San Diego is at mentally after they dropped last week’s game to the Chiefs at home.  Broncos 27, Chargers 20.

“Your Ass Needs a New Hobby” Game of the Week

Minnesota Vikings at Tampa Bay Buccaneers.  Even if you are a fan of both of these God-awful teams, why even watch?  Oh yeah, gotta pick a “winner” for this snooze-fest…  Vikings over Bucs.

Sunday’s Games

Lions over Falcons
Chiefs over Rams
Texans over Titans
Seahawks over Panthers
Bengals over Ravens
Dolphins over Jaguars
Patriots over Bears
Bills over Jets
Cardinals over Eagles
Browns over Raiders
Colts over Steelers
Packers over Saints

Monday’s Game

Cowboys over Redskins

Last week’s record: 11-4 (Consistency – I love it!)
2014 record to date: 67-41-1 (Getting in the groove…)

2014 NFL Week 7 Preview

NFLGame of the Week

San Francisco 49ers at Denver Broncos.  This is going to be one helluva game.  One of the league’s best defenses against one of the best offenses.  Patrick Willis vs. Peyton Manning.  Jim Harbaugh vs. John Fox.  Need I say more?  Well, I would except it’s midnight and I REALLY need to take my crusty ass to bed.  One more thing: Mile High will prove to be the Niners’ undoing.  Broncos 27, 49ers 24.

“Your Ass Needs a Hobby” Game of the Week

Tennessee Titans at Washington Redskins.  Do I REALLY have to pick a winner here?  Should I really give a damn?  Oh what the hell…  Redskins over Titans.

Thursday’s Game

Patriots over Jets

Sunday’s Games

Ravens over Falcons
Seahawks over Lambs
Browns over Jaguars
Colts over Bengals
Bills over Vi-Queens
Bears over Dolphins
Lions over Saints
Packers over Panthers
Chargers over Chiefs
Cardinals over Raiders
Cowboys over Giants

Monday’s Game

Steelers over Texans

Last week’s record: 11-3-1 (Getting the good ‘ol mojo back!)
2014 record to date: 56-37-1 (Still chopping that wood…)

2014 NFL Week 6 Preview

NFLGame of the Week

Dallas Cowboys over Seattle Seahawks.  Are the Cowboys for real?  We’ll find out after this game as it will mark the first time Dallas will face one of the best teams in the league.  If the Cowboys win, God bless my Twitter and Facebook timelines.  Thankfully for me I don’t think it’s going to end that way.  Seattle’s “Legion of Boom” will take away Dez Bryant and the passing game, and its front seven should neutralize DeMarco Murray and the running game.  This leads us to Tony Romo.  Asking him to win a game against Seattle’s ferocious defense on the road will be too tall of a task for Dallas.  It should be a good one though…  Seahawks 27, Cowboys 20.

Snore-fest of the Week

Titans over Jaguars.  Whoever is excited about this game either has a bad gambling habit or is in dire need of prayer – or maybe both…

Thursday Night’s Game

Colts over Texans

Sunday’s Games

Ravens over Buccaneers
Broncos over Jets
Lions over Vikings
Patriots over Bills
Bengals over Panthers
Steelers over Browns
Packers over Dolphins
Chargers over Raiders
Falcons over Bears
Cardinals over Redskins (gonna be tough sledding for Washington)
Eagles over Giants

Monday’s Game

49ers over Rams

Last week’s record: 13-2 (MUCH better, much fucking better!)
2014 record to date: 45-31 (Now THAT’S more like it…)

2014 NFL Week 5 Preview

NFLGame of the Week

Houston Texans at Dallas Cowboys.  I wanted to go outside of the box and focus on the “Battle of Texas”.  Both teams are 3-1 and are considered early surprises in the first quarter of the 2014 regular season.  I plan to use this game to see which team is truly “for real”.  Both teams have feasted on what was generally considered poor competition, though the Cowboys did notch an impressive win over the New Orleans Saints last week.  While the Texans defense is above-average and led by the stud himself J.J. Watt, I’m going to give the edge to the Cowboys because their offense is hellafied.  Tony Romo is doing a good limiting his turnovers (for the most part), Dez Bryant is a stud at wide receiver, and coach Jason Garrett is FINALLY leaning on DeMarco Murray and the running game.

This will be an interestingly competitive contest, but I do not see a Ryan Fitzpatrick-led offense outscoring Romo and Co. in Dallas.  Cowboys 27, Texans 17.

Ass Whupping of the Week

Seahawks over Redskins.  What appeared to be a marquee Monday Night Football match-up may turn out to be an utter clunker.  A strong Seattle team coupled with a Washington team that has been bumbling as of late has “epic curb-stomping” written all over it.

Thursday’s Game

Packers over Vikings

Sunday’s Games

Panthers over Bears
Browns over Titans
Eagles over Rams
Giants over Falcons
Saints over Buccaneers
Lions over Bills
Colts over Ravens
Steelers over Jaguars (if my Steelers blow this one, they can kiss this season goodbye)
Broncos over Cardinals
49ers over Chiefs
Chargers over Jets
Bengals over Patriots

Last week’s record: 6-7 (Goddamn I suck!)
2014 record to date: 32-29 (Mediocrity fits my ass to a tee…)

2014 NFL Week 5 Top Ten Teams


The first quarter of the 2014 NFL season is over, which means it’s time for me to debut my top 10 rankings.  As I said in the past, it is too damn early – and frankly stupid – for ANY sports website to have a power rankings list so early in the season where we don’t know where all the teams will trend.  To me, it’s better to have a rankings list when actual games have been played, and what better time to judge than after the first four games of the season.

So with that said, here is my first of my top ten rankings of NFL teams.  The top team may shock most of y’all…

  1. Bengals
  2. Seahawks
  3. Broncos
  4. Cardinals
  5. Chargers
  6. Ravens
  7. Lions
  8. Eagles
  9. Cowboys
  10. 49ers

2014 NFL Week 4 Preview

NFLGame of the Week:

New Orleans Saints at Dallas Cowboys.  This is a chance to see if the Cowboys are for real.  Let’s be honest about something: Dallas’ wins have come against cream-puffs.  Meanwhile the Saints had to endure a road game against the hated Falcons in Week 1, followed by a hostile Cleveland crowd in Week 2.  Remember how Dallas fared against a good team (though an underachieving one) in the 49ers?  The same thing will happen against New Orleans.  Drew Brees has to be licking his chops at the prospect of going against that porous defense.  Saints 30, Cowboys 23.

Revenge Game of the Week:

Carolina Panthers at Baltimore Ravens.  Ya think former Panther Steve Smith Sr. (still trying to get used to calling him “Sr”) had this game circled for a while?  I’m looking for the Panthers to get curb-stomped by Baltimore’s D.  If the hobbled Cam Newton starts at QB for Carolina, I will pray for his safety.  Ravens 23, Panthers 13.

Thursday’s Game

Redskins over Giants

Sunday’s Games

Bears over Packers
Texans over Bills
Colts over Titans
Jets over Lions
Steelers over Buccaneers
Dolphins over Raiders (London Bridge will fall the hell down thanks to this gem)
Chargers over Jaguars
Falcons over Vikings
49ers over Eagles

Monday’s Game

Patriots over Chiefs

Last week’s record: 10-6 (Slightly better than last week, but still…)
2014 record to date: 26-22 (Hail to mediocrity!)


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