Author Archives: klownboy

2015 NFL Week 5 Preview

NFLGame of the Week

Seattle Seahawks at Cincinnati Bengals.  This game will tell us everything we need to know about the 2015 Bengals.  They will be playing the should have been two-time defending champion Seahawks (damn you, Pete Carroll), and are on fire.

A part of me thinks Cincy will struggle a bit against the “Legion of Boom” and Seattle’s front seven – and the Bengals just might.  However, Seattle has been struggling offensively.  And given that this will be a road game at 1 PM EST – and we all know how west coast teams typically struggle in the eastern time zone – Seattle is going to be in for a fight.  And the Seahawks will lose…  Bengals 20, Seahawks 13.

Who Gives Two Damns and a F@#k Game of the Week

Jaguars over Buccaneers.  Man, to have to be an analyst and call this game would drive one to drink.  What a God-awful matchup…

Ass Whipping of the Week

Patriots over Cowboys.  Let’s see.  Resident tone-deaf dumbass Greg Hardy made comments on Tom Brady’s wife and her sister.  Jerry Jones practically backed Hardy on those comments.  Oh, and Dallas will be without Tony Romo and Dez Bryant – and its defense is still suspect.  This Cowboy-hater will be bringing the popcorn to this slaughter…

Thursday’s Game

Colts over Texans (I believe I had that one right…)

Sunday’s Games

Chiefs over Bears
Falcons over Redskins
Saints over Eagles
Ravens over Browns (if Cleveland starts Manziel, then I’d pick it for the upset)
Packers over Rams
Bills over Titans
Cardinals over Lions
Broncos over Raiders (think Oakland looked past Chicago last week?)
Giants over 49ers

Monday’s Game

Chargers over Steelers (it’s gonna go from bad to worse for my squad until Big Ben returns)

Record last week: 10-5 (Not too bad…)
Year to date: 41-22 (My ass is STILL on the A-train…)

2015 MLB Playoff Preview: Division Championship Series

mlbThe 2015 Major League Baseball playoffs is upon us, starting with last night’s opening round play-in games.

The play-in round is always exciting, with …  Both play-in game winners should make for some compelling matchups in their respective divisional series.

I need to get something off my chest.

For those folks in the media elite who love to poo-poo players celebrating when clinching a wildcard spot (or for that matter, winning a playoff series not named the World Series), shame on them.  They fail to realize that the regular season is such a grind, and that the amount of work teams put in during spring training is monumental.  So to the media folks I say, “shaddup!”

Now to my MLB playoff preview…

American League

Kansas City Royals vs. Houston Astros

Analysis:  The Royals kinda stumbled down the stretch, but still landed the home-field advantage in the American League playoffs.  Still, KC needs to get right fast.  Johnny Cueto needs to be the same ace he was before he was traded from Cincinnati.  And the Royals’ bullpen needs to be on point.

I love the Astros grit and toughness.  Plus those guys can mash the hell out of the baseball.  Still, I think the Royals have the edge here in terms of experience, and that will be the deciding factor over an Astros team who may be the team to beat in the AL West next season.

Prediction:  Royals in 4.

Toronto Blue Jays vs. Texas Rangers

Analysis:  This is may be considered the undercard of the AL playoffs, but I think this is more compelling than KC-Houston.  I love the fact that both squads have aces on their respective pitching staffs: David Price (Toronto) and Cole Hamels (Texas).

Having said that, there is just something I love about the Blue Jays.  They can mash, have one hell of a homefield advantage (and that dome of their’s STILL looks great), and have been riding on some incredible momentum.

Texas is a good underdog story.  It didn’t quit when they started the season poorly.  It made a risky move at the trade deadline in acquiring Hamels (as did Toronto with Price and Troy Tulowiski).  I just don’t think the Rangers are talented enough to beat the Blue Jays.

Prediction: Blue Jays in 5.

National League

I would continue giving an in-depth analysis on the National League side, but some things came up.  First of all, it’s almost 11:30 PM.  The second AL playoff game is almost over.  And my wife made me help her look for a remote that she misplaced.  Therefore, I have to wrap this up…

St. Louis Cardinals vs. Chicago Cubs

Analysis:  See above explanation.

Prediction: Cardinals in 5.

Los Angeles Dodgers vs. New York Mets

Analysis:  If you’re still looking for some analysis, either you can’t read, are slow as hell, or you are as sleepy as I am.

Prediction: Mets in 4.

2015 NFL Power Rankings: Week 4 Edition

NFLI normally do not do NFL top 10 until the 1/4-mark of the season because you can’t tell which teams are going to be really good.  It’s too damn early in the season for that type of thing.

Now that we are at the 1/4-mark, here is MY NFL‬ top 10:

1) New England Patriots
2) Green Bay Packers
3) Cincinnati Bengals
4) Denver Broncos
5) Arizona Cardinals
6) Atlanta Falcons
7) Carolina Panthers
8) Pittsburgh Steelers
9) Seattle Seahawks
10) New York Jets

Let the hating begin…

Steelers Blew The Ravens Game

This longtime Pittsburgh Steelers fan is seething.  SO seething.

As I watched my beloved Steelers blow a 20-7 lead in a loss to the hated Baltimore Ravens, I expressions went from joy, sadness to pure anger.  The anger comes from blown opportunity after blown opportunity.

Lets us count the ways…

First of all, let’s start with that sorry excuse of a kicker.

Josh Scobee, aka “Scobee Scrubee Scoobie Doo” (thank you very much Stephen A. Smith), went 2-4 on field goal attempts.  His misses were the last two field goal attempts in regulation, 49 and 41 yards (!!!) respectively, could have put the game away for the Steelers.  Instead, those misses allowed the Ravens to stick around and send the game into overtime with a 52-yard field goal of its own as time expired.  After that, the coaches had no confidence in Scobee and as a result went for it twice on 4th and short in Baltimore territory.  And speaking of which…

The second person I will blame is head coach Mike Tomlin.

While I can’t blame Tomlin for Scobee’s kicking woes, I will blame him for two baffling 4th and short calls in overtime.  Tomlin, aka Omar Epps, somehow forgot that he employs one of the best running backs in football: Le’Veon Bell.

Let’s start from the top, shall we?

On the first 4th down in overtime, the Steelers had two yards to reach a first down.  But instead of giving the ball to Bell, who rushed for over 120 yards last night, Tomlin allowed offensive coordinator Todd Haley (I really hate his ass) to call QB Michael Vick’s number and sent him on a QB keeper sweep.  Unfortunately, the Ravens sniffed that shit out from a mile away and stuffed the play.

The second 4th down play call was the most heartbreaking and perhaps made me the angriest.  It was a 4th and one from Baltimore’s 33 yard line.  The aforementioned Scobee was sucking so bad, no one blamed Tomlin for keeping his sorry ass on the sideline.  That was perhaps the smartest move Tomlin made all night.

One would think that a smart guy like Tomlin would learn from his first mistake and give the ball to Bell.  Not only did Omar Epps refuse to put the ball in Bell’s hands, he allowed Haley to call a pass play – a PASS PLAY! – to stud WR Antonio Brown.  The problem was Vick overthrew the brother.

And we all knew what happened after that.  Baltimore drove into field goal range, made the field goal, game over.

Tomlin and the crew are going to be kicking themselves going forward.  This was a game that could have put the Steelers in the driver’s seat and all but buried the Ravens.

Instead, losing to the Ravens did three things.  It gave Baltimore much-needed life and.  Second, it handed Pittsburgh a home division loss that placed it behind the 8-ball.  And lastly, it widened the gap (at the moment) between the Steelers and the Bengals, who are 3-0 and rolling.

Tomlin needs to take one look at himself in the mirror and own this one (which to his credit, he reportedly has done).  His Steelers blew that game thanks to him (and that sorry-ass kicker).

2015 NFL Week 4 Preview

NFLGame of the Week

Minnesota Vikings at Denver Broncos.  This is my featured game only to see how big of a fraud Minnesota will make itself out to be in that game.  Keep in mind this is the same Vikings team that lost to the sorry-ass 49ers Week 1 on Monday Night Football.  And while they have a good win over the Chargers last Sunday at home, I think reality smacks Minnesota in the face in Denver.

And while the Broncos have not been lighting it up offensively as much this season, their defense has stepped up in a big way.  Denver’s D will shut down stud RB Adrian Peterson, which would spell doom to QB Teddy Bridgewater.  And keep one thing in mind boys and girls: Denver still employs Peyton Manning at QB.  ‘Nuff said…  Broncos 27, Vikings 17.

Ass-Whupping of the Week

Packers over 49ers.  Has anyone seen how QB Aaron Rodgers has been ballin’ out?  Has anyone seen how bad the Niners been sucking?  This should be over by halftime.

Thursday’s Game

Ravens over Steelers (this hurts my heart to type this, but the “no Big Ben” Steelers have the Ravens licking their chops…)

Sunday’s Games

Jets over Dolphins (I think Miami will fire Philbin and leave his ass in England)
Colts over Jaguars
Bills over Giants
Panthers over Buccaneers
Eagles over Redskins
Raiders over Bears
Falcons over Texans
Bengals over Chiefs
Chargers over Browns
Cardinals over Rams
Cowboys over Saints (the “Battle of the ‘Turrible’ Backup QBs” will invade Sunday Night Football…)

Monday’s Game

Seahawks over Lions

Record last week: 12-4 (Much better.  MUCH better…)
Year to date: 31-17 (My ass is on the A-train now…)

2015 NFL Week 3 Musings

NFLBig Ben’s injury is a devastating blow.

It was a bittersweet Sunday afternoon for me and Steelers fans everywhere.  Bump that, it was a MISERABLE Sunday afternoon for us.  Four to six weeks without our starting QB.  Now we have to rely on our backup Michael Vick to get the job done the next six weeks.  I mean it could be a helluva lot worse – Pittsburgh would have been stuck with the immortal Landry Jones.  But let’s face it, Vick is no Big Ben.

For now, it’s “in Vick we trust” for Steeler Nation.  But with the Ravens coming to town Thursday night and a daunting schedule ahead of the Steelers while Big Ben is out (Ravens, at Chargers, Cardinals, at Chiefs, Bengals, and believe or not the Raiders), this is such a devasting blow.  Damn…

The AFC South is the worst division in the NFL.

Here is what y’all need to know about this sorry-ass division.  Every team is 1-2.  The division favorite Colts do not look good at all.  If it weren’t for the Titans choking that lead away in the fourth quarter, Indy would be starting the season at 0-3.  In the AFC South.  If the division “winner” wins more than nine games at season’s end, I’d be shocked.

The Falcons are for real.

I loved the moxie the Falcons showed against the Cowboys in Dallas.  Sure the Cowboys played without WR Dez Bryant and QB Tony Romo, but a road win is a road win.  Atlanta would have blown that game a year ago.

Kudos for new head coach Dan Quinn and his staff.  It’s a new day in Atlanta.

Joe Philbin should not have a job.

There is no way the Dolphins should be 1-2.  First, there was the embarrassing loss to the lowly Jaguars.  And I could understand losing to the division rival Bills, but not in such a lackluster effort – and a home opener no less!

I said before the season that the Dolphins first few games of the schedule were so easy, anything less than a 5-1 start would be disappointing.  Now they are 1-2 with an angry Jets team coming to town.

Coach Philbin’s ass should have been fired two years ago.  His team’s underwhelming performance underscores that point…

2015 NFL Week 3 Preview

NFLGame of the Week

Atlanta Falcons at Dallas Cowboys.  This is intriguing to me for a variety of reasons.  For one, it gives me a chance to assess if the Falcons are for real or not.  They have looked good the first two weeks of the season.  The offense has been on-point and that defense has looked aggressive under new head coach Dan Quinn.  But they will be going against a high-profile opponent in Dallas, so a win here would make Atlanta legit.

As for the Cowboys, talk about a walking M.A.S.H. unit.  Stud WR Dez Bryant got hurt in Week 1, then QB Tony Romo injured his shoulder last weekend, and now the reliable TE Jason Witten may not play with injuries of his own.  I don’t think the Cowboys have the manpower to beat the Falcons at home this weekend, especially not with backup QB Brandon Weeden slinging the rock.

That said, if the Cowboys do manage to pull this one out, I will be drinking the “Jerral Blue Juice”.  But they won’t…  Falcons 24, Cowboys 17.

The “Which Team Is for Real” Bowl

Browns over Raiders.  Both teams had good wins last week.  Both young QBs had great games last weekend.  Now we will see which team can stay hot in this match-up.

Thursday Night’s Game

Redskins over Giants

Sunday’s Games

Colts over Titans (must-win game for the Colts right here)
Bengals over Ravens (ditto for the Ravens)
Patriots over Jaguars
Panthers over Saints
Jets over Eagles (Chip Kelly, your ass is on the clock)
Texans over Buccaneers
Chargers over Vikings
Steelers over Rams
Cardinals over 49ers
Bills over Dolphins
Seahawks over Bears
Broncos over Lions

Monday’s Game

Packers over Chiefs

Record last week: 8-8 (damn, talk about mediocre…)
Year to date: 19-13 (Meh, it’s still early – so whatever…)


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