Lolo Jones = the Anna Kournikova of Track and Field

It must suck to be Lolo Jones these days.

There was the whole thing over her being a virgin and how hard it is to remain one (why she thought that anyone would care, I have no idea).  Now it’s her placing FOURTH in the 100 meter hurdle final this afternoon.

For those keeping score, that keeps Jones at the same number of Olympic medals I have: ZERO.  For an athlete that garners so much hype, one would think that Jones would have an Olympic medal or two by now.

Now one thing that she has going for her is that she does have SOME championships under her belt: indoor national titles in 2007, 2008 and 2009 in the 60 m hurdles, with gold medals at the World Indoor Championship in 2008 and 2010.  However, those championships without Olympic medals is like Tiger Woods winning minor golf tournaments but no majors.

So Lolo, here is some unsolicited advice for ya…

First, get the hell off of Twitter.  While it does make for some good entertainment, I do not need to know about your lack of sex life and your devotion to the Lord.  Keep doing you, I just don’t want to know about it.

Second, get laid.  You’d be surprised at how loose you’d be once you “close the deal” with some dude – or woman if you swing that way.

Last but not least, devote all of your focus on getting better.  You should take a chapter out of teammates Dawn Harper (who won the silver) and Kellie Wells (she won bronze).  Keep your head down and focus!

There you have it Lolo.  Three easy steps on how to live up to those lofty expectations placed upon you since starring at and graduating from LSU.

Otherwise Anna Kournikova will soon have company as a beautiful athlete who didn’t win anything consequential.

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About klownboy

I am avid sports lover who cherishes all things Steelers, Knicks, and Yankees - and despise all Boston and Cleveland-based sports. Enjoy!!!

Posted on August 7, 2012, in Olympics and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. Seriously??? She’s an American record holder and came in 4th place in the fastest 100M hurdles in Olympic history – and, oh yeah, she had spinal cord surgery 12 months ago. I’d be pretty damn proud if I was her.
    And, by the way, if you don’t want to know about her “lack of sex life and devotion to the Lord” then stop FOLLOWING her on Twitter.

    • Missy!
      Since when did you become such a sports savant (and I am being serious by the way)? First you dropped the hammer down with your Tim Tebow defense, and now this. I’m pretty damn proud sister!

      At any rate, about Lolo’s “lack of sex life”, seriously why should anyone care? Well, I guess that’s what Twitter is for right – for losers to follow celebs to see what they are thinking/doing every moment of their lives (oops)?

      • The fact is, Lolo inspires people – not because of medals or championships but because of what she’s overcome. Twelve months ago she didn’t know if she would ever walk again – most people would take 12 months just to rehab from spinal cord surgery – but Lolo was determined to compete in the Olympics and worked her ass off to get there. Gold medals are great but a year from now, I won’t remember the name Sally Pearson. I’ll sure as hell know who Lolo Jones is. Just like I couldn’t tell you who won the gold in the Men’s 400M, but I’ll remember Oscar Pistorius, the double-amputee who inspired me to shut my whining mouth. That’s why I watch the Olympics. To compare her to Anna Kournikova is such a joke.

        Always read your blogs, you just inspired me to comment this time. :)

  2. YOu are a real asshole. Or rather a real asshole klown

  3. The article was pretty harsh or blunt, depending on how you would like to look at it. I don’t really care about her sex life or her surgery (although I am happy she’s healthy). I proud of her or her agent who keeps putting her name out there. She getting plenty of publicity and prob making some money off of it. Play the game, make your money while you can. However, as a track enthusiast and realist I knew she would make the American squad and finish top 5 at the Olympics (although I thought 5th would be her place). But for her not to have won anything at the 100m distance she received more attention (atleast in my market) than Richards-Ross, Felix, Jeter, or Harper. These names were projected to challenge for gold. Friend that I have who know nothing about track all knew Lolo, but none of these other people. They would run commercials feturing Richards-Ross, Eaton, and Lolo. So just on the surface (if you know little about track) you would watch the commercial and see potential gold medalist, potential gold medalist, and one would think another potential gold medalist. But she wasn’t and didn’t. She finished 1 place above my projection (damn good job) but didn’t challenge for a gold.

    I do think the timing of the article was wrong.

    • Hey,
      Yeah I was a bit blunt and harsh, but that’s just my style. I understand that she has to promote herself because a career as a professional athlete is much shorter than the average career. I get that. It’s just that when someone receives that much hype, especially to the level that Jones did, that person has gotta produce. No excuses.

      Good to see a fellow track and field enthusiast on here. Keep reading! :)

  4. Klownboy,

    She tells people because there is interest. People are curious because it is so rare. As for her being the new Anna K, who many titles of any kind did Anna win while whoring around with Enrique Iglesias? Oh, yeah, the same as before, ZERO. Lolo getting laid will not help her one bit athletically. As Mickey told Rocky, it weakens knees! Do your research, Klown! :)

    • Hey, sex is good for the soul dammit! Take AC Green for example. For those too young to remember, Green was a former NBA-er who was a virgin before he got married. Could you imagine how much better on the boards he would have been if he “closed the deal” with some lady? All I know is I was scared for his wife on their wedding night. Ooh-Weee!

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